This article is the first in a series related to the foundations of the Western colonial binaries, how it relates to patriarchy and the gender and sex binaries, femininity and queer and trans issues within our diverse communities. If you stick with this series long enough, you will get to dive deeper into how these issues intersect with White Supremacy Culture and fascism. I will not get it all right, I will not cover everything, and you may leave with more questions than you started with.
This is intended to be an opening, not a final answer.
Let's start with some my personal relationship to this topic. My journey into creating inclusive spiritual spaces began during my time at a land-based ecovillage project in the Pacific Northwest over a decade ago. The village's commitment to fostering regenerative systems, ecological justice, and a social ecology of liberatory practice deeply resonated with me. It was a place where we sought to dismantle oppressive systems, create equitable spaces, and cultivate a deep sense of belonging for all people.
This environment challenged me to confront the inequities that pervade even our most sacred spaces, leading me to question the structures I had once upheld.
For years, I hosted women’s-only gatherings, healing circles, and sauna ceremonies. These were spaces that, at the time, felt crucial for healing and connection. As someone who was socialized as a girl and after a lifetime of deferring to men's power and priorities, leading these spaces was liberating. I was enthralled with the observation of moon cycles and my own body's relationship to them.
However, I always knew I was a bit different... a bit queer.
As I came into my identity as a genderqueer or genderfree person, the rigid definitions of womanhood that had once provided a sense of belonging felt suffocating. I realized that the identity and experience of womanhood was not something I chose, but rather a culture and world that I had been enculturated into. It became clear to me in this process that I was in fact NOT a woman by the definitions and examples that were presented to me, nor was my unruly and nonconforming body.
The very spaces I had helped create started to erase my real lived and embodied experience.
When my other gender expansive friends did not feel like women's spaces were made for them, I realized that these gatherings, while powerful, were often built upon narrow understandings of gender and sexuality that excluded those who did not fit within the binary framework. I could no longer be my whole self in these spaces, despite the fact that they were the only healing spaces that felt accessible at the time.
It was not even that the women I encountered in these spaces were doing anything "wrong" or intentionally causing harm, rather, it was the weight of the unspoken dominant norms that I was expected to uphold or else stimulate discomfort in others.
There was a silent and insidious mutual policing of our bodies, speech, and performances of womanhood that made it feel unsafe to participate.
The concept of "womanhood" within these circles was often tied to a biological essentialism that did not account for the diversity of experiences among people assigned female at birth, nor did it recognize the validity of trans, nonbinary, and genderqueer identities. This exclusion not only silenced my experience but also reinforced the oppressive systems we claimed to be dismantling.
The very essence of belonging, which we sought to cultivate, was compromised by these rigid boundaries.
As I navigated my own journey, I began to see the profound impact that expanding these circles to include gender-diverse individuals could have. The expansion was not just about making space for others but about healing the rigid constructs created by the Western gender binary that had limited all of us. It was not just about widening the definition of what makes a woman, but on a deeper level, it was about healing the wounds that the Western construct of gender has placed on all people including men, queer, nonbinary/genderqueer, intersex and trans people... and people for whom gender is a foreign concept altogether.
At the same time, I recognized the importance of holding spaces that uniquely honor and are sensitive to the gender-based violence experienced by people assigned female at birth or socialized as female, including intersex people, and those living and identifying as women across various embodied experiences. After many generations of women and feminized people surviving the violence inflicted by people socialized as men, the physical, psychic and politic trauma has left deep chasms in our society. We see it even today in the fight for reproductive rights and body sovereignty.
Under the regime of gender and sex binaries, gender nonconforming and gender expansive people of all identities and expressions face the violence of this colonial construct daily.
With the movement for transgender rights, the rise of LGBTQ+ Pride cultures, and the increasing visibility of queerness in broader society, we are witnessing the collective confronting of the foundational paradigm of binary separation. When we look at nature, we see that this binary is not the norm, yet the biases imposed by the Western "education" system has obfuscated this reality, making every day existence in our societies a burden for many gender expansive people, or even those who dare to question the norms.
My time in the ecovillage highlighted the intersecting struggles faced by all people oppressed by both violently and insidiously imposed Western constructs. This has especially impeded Indigenous peoples in accessing safe spaces and land to practice their spiritualities. Having been outlawed by colonial governments in the United States and only legalized in 1978, Indigenous spiritual practices have been picked up by the descendants of Europeans in many spiritual settings, sparking complex and difficult conversations about healing the residual harm from this ancestral wounding.
Learning about these political realities sent me on a long path of seeking how to be with, and not shy away from, these uncomfortable conversations.
As a Pagan Jew of European descent, I needed to answer the questions for myself and confront what privileges I have with a critical, yet compassionate curiosity. I spent the better part of a year traveling up and down the West Coast exploring these themes within decolonial dialogues. I listened to the many ways that predominantly white and cisgender, heterosexual land-based gatherings and spiritual spaces were engaging the tricky dialogues. Some were wrestling with exclusion and holding rigid norms, while others were moving towards deeper understanding and reconciliation.
It was a struggle for many of the organizers whose intentions were pure, but were forced to face the real impacts of colonial trauma showing up in their circles.
What I gathered from this fieldwork is that land-based spiritual gatherings must take extra care to be sensitive to the lived and political realities of all oppressed peoples. While there may not be one-size-fits-all answers for how to shape these spaces, the careful attending to the real trauma and relationships present in the space is essential. Using broad sweeping niceties and fanciful ideals to bypass the sociopolitical inequities we face and avoid addressing real trauma will no longer suffice.
As the world becomes more diverse and oppressed people increasingly seek the same comforts and benefits in returning to the Earth and spiritual practice that people with privilege can access, we will all need to expand our capacity for holding the shadow with compassion and grace. True healing requires an intersectional and trauma-sensitive approach that honors all identities and experiences with empathy.
What is gender? What makes... or who is a woman? Who decides? Why are we even talking about this??
These are completely valid questions, especially for those of us have been acculturated in a Western and modernist paradigm that has built whole a whole sociopolitical complex around the validity of the gender and sex binary. Often when someone begins to question what for many has become a foundational cosmic truth, it shakes the core of our world and threatens cognitive dissonance that can be hard to bear.
As I matured in my study and seeking on the path decolonial Depth psychology, I began to work with groups who were asking these questions in their organizations, often prompted by painful encounters or questions by staff or participants that overwhelmed and confused them. Some just wanted to be told the answers and revise their framework for "who is what," "how can I tell" and what not to say or do.
Many people just want to "be good" and "do no harm."
I had to break it to them that there is not right answer and there is no way to completely avoid stimulating trauma... the trauma is there and will be stimulated until the systems and norms that generate these violent inequities are transformed. It's what we do in the face of collective trauma that matter. It's how we leverage our power and privileges within systems to shift the culture, how we confront the hard conversations and how we hold our precious relationships when sh*t gets stirred that will really define the next paradigm we are creating.
I was recently called into a multi-racial women's organization to educate them on gender inclusion. Simple, right? When I asked the group "What makes a woman," I was met with a pregnant silence, mouths agape in shock. Tt was not that they were offended by the question, but they were taken aback by their inability to land on a solid answer. Each attempt to define the concept of "woman" opened a new question, which left them ultimately in a state of disquieted curiosity. Was nature really this complex?
Had they really lived their whole lives experiencing inequity without asking these questions about the identities they were socialized into?
As a genderfree practitioner who had to struggle with these same questions, and move through the rage, grief and frustration at society for placing gender-based limits on me, I was deeply encouraged by this groups serious engagement with their questioning. It highlighted for me the profound nature of this work to transform oppressive systems and consciousness. Even in our differences and disagreements, there was hope for getting free together.
Policing Women of Color Out of Their Womanhood
One of the important topics we talked about in this organization the harsh reality that women of color often face in being policed out of their womanhood, a concept that is explored in depth in This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color, edited by Cherríe Moraga and Gloria Anzaldúa. The essays in this anthology reveal how systemic racism, sexism, and cultural imperialism intersect to undermine and question the legitimacy of women of color's identities and experiences as women. The intersectional experience of people both a woman and a person of color frequently leads to their womanhood being questioned or diminished. The nuances of this intersection will be further explored in future articles.
Understanding the Tensions: Points and Counterpoints
In any community, particularly those that are deeply spiritual, tensions can arise when the traditional boundaries of gender are challenged. We are all in a process of healing from generations of gender-based violence and oppression, so it is understandable to struggle with the narratives and beliefs that arise as we unlearn our biases and embrace our unique trauma stories.
And, at the same time, it is our responsibility as cultural healers, spiritual practitioners and leaders in healing spaces to do this work to understand diverse experiences and reduce the harm we may be perpetuating in our unexamined exclusionary behavior.
The process of confronting and questioning the gender binary, especially in spaces that have an spoken or unspoken gender-based culture, can be messy and confusing. So, I have outlined the following to open the conversations surrounding women-identified spaces in particular. Below are some common points of contention and the counterpoints that can help guide a more inclusive and understanding dialogue.
1. The Essence of Womanhood
Point: "I don’t feel safe with a trans woman in our space because I see womanhood as a biological reality."
Counterpoint: "Womanhood is also a deeply personal and lived experience. Trans women live as women and experience the world as women, often facing significant discrimination and violence for it. Including them enriches our understanding of womanhood and deepens our spiritual connection" (American Psychological Association, 2015).
Education: Major medical and psychological organizations recognize gender identity as a valid and essential aspect of a person’s identity. Excluding trans women based on biology alone perpetuates harm and disregards the legitimacy of their lived experiences (American Psychological Association, 2015).
2. Shared Experiences vs. Inclusivity
Point: "Allowing a trans woman in the space feels like it’s erasing or undermining my experience as a cisgender woman."
Counterpoint: "Inclusion broadens the understanding of what it means to be a woman. We all have unique experiences, and by coming together, we can support each other in our diversity rather than seeing it as a threat" (Crenshaw, 1991).
Education: Intersectional feminism emphasizes the importance of embracing the different experiences of all women, including trans women, which strengthens rather than dilutes feminist movements (Crenshaw, 1991).
3. Trauma and Safety
Point: "I’ve experienced trauma from men, and having a trans woman here triggers those memories for me."
Counterpoint: "Trans women often experience significant trauma, often at the hands of men. It’s important to remember that trans women are not men; they are women seeking safe spaces, just like you" (SAMHSA, 2014).
Education: Trauma-informed approaches create environments where all individuals feel safe by recognizing and validating each person's experience while also ensuring that fears are not projected onto others seeking the same sense of safety (SAMHSA, 2014).
4. Historical and Cultural Recognition of Gender Diversity
Point: "Our space is for women only. A trans woman doesn’t belong here because she isn’t a real woman."
Counterpoint: "Trans people have existed throughout history and across cultures, often embodying roles that bridge the human and divine. Including trans women honors the ancient tradition of recognizing gender diversity as sacred" (Nanda, 1990; Driskill, 2016).
Education: Trans and gender-diverse people have historically held spiritual roles in many cultures, such as the Hijra in South Asia and Two-Spirit people in Indigenous North American cultures, where they are often revered for their spiritual insights (Nanda, 1990; Driskill, 2016).
5. The Role of Nonbinary and Genderqueer Individuals
Point: "Our gatherings should be for those born female to honor shared experiences of womanhood."
Counterpoint: "Nonbinary and genderqueer individuals, many of whom were assigned female at birth, often find themselves excluded from such spaces. Yet, they too need safe spaces to explore and express their identities" (Herdt, 1994).
Education: The concept of gender beyond the binary is ancient and has been recognized in various cultures. By including nonbinary and genderqueer people, we honor a broader spectrum of gender diversity (Herdt, 1994).
6. Women's Responsibility to Hold the Gender Expansive Community in Their Process
Point: "It is not cisgender women’s responsibility to hold gender-expansive people in their process."
Counterpoint: "It is the responsibility of all women to hold and support the gender-expansive community in their process. The struggle for gender equality is interconnected. By supporting gender-expansive individuals, including intersex people and transgender women, cisgender women are able to leverage their privilege and help to dismantle the rigid gender norms that harm everyone. Feminism is about challenging oppressive systems, and these systems affect people of all gender identities."
Educational Perspective: Intersectionality shows how different forms of oppression intersect and compound each other. By understanding how gender, race, and other identities intersect, women can engage in more inclusive feminist practices that benefit all people, not just those within a specific identity group (Crenshaw, 1991). Supporting the gender-expansive community aligns with the broader movement for social justice and ensures that no one is left behind in the struggle for liberation.
Historical Discrimination and Resilience
Discrimination against gender-diverse people is far from a new phenomenon. Throughout history, individuals who did not conform to societal gender norms have faced persecution, marginalization, and violence. However, trans and queer people have continually resisted and survived, creating their own worlds of resilience and thriving within them.
For example, communities like the Two-Spirit people in Indigenous cultures of North America have long held sacred spaces that acknowledge and honor gender diversity (Driskill, 2016). Similarly, the Hijra community in South Asia has created a distinct social and cultural identity that transcends traditional gender binaries (Nanda, 1990).
While these resilient communities have built their own spaces for safety and belonging, this does not mean the rift caused by discrimination has been healed.
Healing and growth are still needed, and this is not solely the responsibility of queer and trans people. The burden of healing should not fall only on those who are most harmed by systemic inequity. As activists and scholars like Dean Spade have pointed out, systemic change requires everyone—especially those who benefit from existing power structures—to engage in the work of dismantling inequity and building a more just society (Spade, 2015).
Empathy for Organizers and Facilitators of Spiritual Spaces
Organizing healing gatherings and spaces AT ALL is hard work. On top of that, fostering safe spaces that appeal to a wide range of experiences is no small feat. Organizers are often tasked with creating environments that feel welcoming and secure for all participants (let alone having working bathrooms) while navigating the complex dynamics of identity, trauma, and inclusion. The desire to protect and honor the experiences of cisgender women, particularly those who have faced gender-based violence, is deeply valid.
However, it is also crucial to recognize that the journey towards inclusivity—though challenging—is essential for collective healing, liberation, and empowerment.
Creating trauma-informed practices in environments where we invite people to be vulnerable and expansive requires a thoughtful approach. Organizers must consider the diverse needs of participants, ensuring that adequate boundaries and safety measures are in place for everyone. This might include offering support systems, creating affinity spaces within larger gatherings, and continually educating themselves and their communities about the importance of inclusion.
The work is difficult, but the rewards—stronger, more resilient communities—are profound.
Recommendations for Inclusive Gatherings
To create truly inclusive spiritual gatherings and experiences, organizers must navigate these tensions with care and intention. Here are some recommendations:
Education and Dialogue: Provide educational resources and opportunities for dialogue about gender diversity within your community. Understanding the historical and cultural significance of gender-diverse individuals can foster a deeper sense of inclusion.
Trauma-Informed Practices: Recognize the trauma experienced by all participants and ensure that your gatherings are trauma-informed. This might include having support systems in place for those who may be triggered and creating spaces where everyone feels safe.
Inclusive Language: Use language that reflects the diversity of your community. This includes recognizing nonbinary and genderqueer identities and ensuring that all participants feel seen and respected. If you're not sure how, start the conversation and seek input.
Cultural Sensitivity: Acknowledge the struggles of Indigenous peoples and other marginalized groups in accessing safe spaces and land for their spiritual practices. Ensure that your gatherings are sensitive to the political realities and lived experiences of all oppressed peoples.
Seek consultation and feedback from those who are most impacted by inequity: You just don't know what you don't know, and having that extra insight from someone who has been there and suffered the consequences of being overlooked can be the difference between a powerful collective transformation and navigating a complex repair process. Not that navigating repair processes is bad! In fact, getting consultation on how to navigate repair can be an essential part of the learning process.
Flexibility in Structure: Be open to evolving the structure of your gatherings to accommodate the needs of a diverse community. This might include creating smaller, affinity-based groups within larger gatherings to ensure that all participants feel comfortable and supported. I have attended gathering with affinity spaces held by marginalized people who facilitated deep healing and connection within the larger gatherings.
Examples of Organizations with Similar Struggles
Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival
Story: This festival faced significant controversy over its "womyn-born-womyn" policy, which excluded trans women. The debate and protests surrounding this policy highlighted the challenges of creating inclusive feminist spaces.
Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA)
Story: The UUA has been a leader in inclusivity but has also faced internal struggles over how to best support trans members while honoring the needs of cisgender women within their congregations.
The Sisterhood of Avalon
Story: This spiritual community has worked to include trans women, emphasizing that all who identify as women are welcome, which has strengthened the diversity and depth of their community.
The Ohio Lesbian Festival
Story: This festival has been inclusive of trans women, and in doing so, has navigated the challenges of maintaining a space that feels safe and welcoming for all women.
Pagan Pride Project
Story: Pagan Pride events have worked to explicitly welcome trans women, recognizing their spiritual contributions and creating inclusive spaces for all who identify as women.
All to say... and going forward
As we explore the complexities of gender, it's vital to remember that no one is a "naturally born woman;" all humans are part of nature and are inherently natural regardless of the bodies they are born with. Through cultural processes, we are socialized into specific gender norms—if our culture even recognizes gender as a concept. When we become fixated on rigid definitions of what a woman is and lay claim to that identity, we may unintentionally replay the trauma of colonization.
This persistent historical trauma has often stripped us from our diverse cultural worlds, reducing complex experiences and community roles to caricatures or packaged identities that can be easily marketed and sold.
In these challenging conversations, I find that platforms like Facebook are not always conducive to co-regulation and staying curious. The environment tends to promote reactive statements rather than thoughtful dialogue and connection. I believe, as Adrienne Maree Brown discusses in her essay "We Will Not Cancel Us," that shaming or guilting others is not a productive approach—especially for those who most need to hear and understand marginalized voices.
Loving Corrections remind us that while it's essential to hold people accountable, it's equally important to do so in a way that fosters growth and understanding (Brown, 2018).
That said, abundant grace must be given to those who are most affected and chronically under stress by the dominant norms. Trans and nonbinary voices must be centered in these discussions, but it's also crucial to uplift the voices of allies and educators who take on the role of facilitating these dialogues. Marginalized individuals are often exhausted from the constant labor of education and advocacy, and placing this burden solely on them can further the harm. Respecting the boundaries and capacities of those who are most affected is key to ensuring that our spaces remain supportive and inclusive.
*** Course Announcement ***
If this article has sparked your curiosity to go deeper, please also stay tuned for our updates about our upcoming course in October 2024:
"Beyond Colonial Binaries of Gender: Towards Gender Co-Liberation"
This session will explore the historical and cultural roots of gender norms, the impact of these norms on our communities, and how we can work together to create liberation together across differences. Whether you're new to these concepts or looking to deepen your understanding, this session will provide valuable insights and practical tools for fostering inclusivity.
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More Questions and Reading
Please note that the information in this post may evolve as new perspectives and feedback are received. Growth is a continuous process, and being open to change is how we move forward together.
I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments and to spread this conversation by sharing this post on your feeds.
Also, if you want to read more about decolonial and liberatory theory through storytelling and musings, subscribe to my Substack, The Liminal Space (Pronouns: Us/Them)
Further Reading
"Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman" by Leslie Feinberg
"Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity" by Julia Serano
"Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us" by Kate Bornstein
"The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love" by Sonya Renee Taylor
"Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians" by Austen Hartke
"This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color" edited by Cherríe Moraga and Gloria Anzaldúa
"Beyond the Gender Binary" by Alok Vaid-Menon
"The Natural World of Ivy Aberdeen" by Ashley Herring Blake
"Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More" by Janet Mock
"Nature Poem" by Tommy Pico
A poetry collection exploring the intersection of nature, identity, and belonging from a queer and Indigenous perspective.
These resources provide a rich array of perspectives, offering both theoretical and practical insights into the complexities of gender inclusivity in spiritual and community spaces.
Want to lean into this learning or engage a difficult dialogue in your community?
Sources:
American Psychological Association. (2015). "Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People."
Brown, A. M. (2018, May 10). We Will Not Cancel Us. Retrieved from https://adriennemareebrown.net/2018/05/10/we-will-not-cancel-us/
Crenshaw, K. (1991). "Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence against Women of Color." Stanford Law Review.
Driskill, Q.-L. (2016). "Asegi Stories: Cherokee Queer and Two-Spirit Memory."
Herdt, G. (1994). "Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History.
Moraga, Cherríe, & Anzaldúa, Gloria (Eds.). (1981). This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color. Watertown, MA: Persephone Press.
Nanda, S. (1990). "Neither Man nor Woman: The Hijras of India."
Native American Rights Fund. (n.d.). History of Religious Persecution in the U.S. Retrieved August 27, 2024, from https://narf.org/history-religious-persecution/
Pagan Pride Project. (n.d.). "Our Mission."
"SAMHSA. (2014). "Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services."
Sisterhood of Avalon. (n.d.). "About Us."
Spade, D. (2015). Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics, and the Limits of Law. Duke University Press.
Author Statement
As a genderqueer practitioner and community psychologist, Liberty Gonzalez's work is dedicated to fostering equitable and creatively flourishing communities. Currently, my doctoral research explores how Western colonial binaries—especially those related to gender—shape cultural and earth-based kinship practices. My dissertation focuses on how gender-expansive parents and caregivers are co-dreaming their liberation and flourishing through intergenerational and interspecies connections.
In this article series, I combine insights from my former fieldworks, research and community work to engage with the complexities of gender and identity, aiming to contribute to collective healing and empowerment.
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